Accept graciously, let go easily.
Meditations, Notebook 8
Accept graciously, let go easily. This line – the entirety of §33 in Notebook 8 of the Meditations – stood out to me as I reviewed the text. In part this is because of the surrounding paragraphs. The surrounding paragraphs are long, by the standards of Marcus Aurelius’ book, and they center on heavy topics — justice, sound judgment, the relations between parts and wholes. §33, by contrast, is a single sentence, and it focuses on such a small matter.
We should accept graciously – meaning with gratitude, in a courteous fashion, with a pleasant demeanor – whatever comes our way. This is not an easy task. For one, Marcus does not say that we should accept some things graciously. Given the rest of the text of the Meditations, the unrestricted reading is significantly more natural. But this makes the claim much more radical. This means we must accept the bad along with the good.
Another reason this is difficult is that our acceptance of things is very rarely gracious, and that is because we often feel that we deserve certain things. When we feel that we deserve a certain outcome, we are less likely to be gracious when we accept it. We tend to think that if we deserve something, we do not need to be thankful for it — we have just gotten what’s ours. And when we get something that we do not deserve, particularly something negative, we either do not want to accept it, or we do not consider the necessity of graciousness.
Here, again, I think we see a stark difference in how Marcus views the world and how we moderns do. Marcus is content to make the following inference. The universe, being guided by the rational Logos, is by necessity good. Whatever happens works toward the goodness of the universe. What is good for the whole is good for the parts. And so, whatever happens works toward the good of the parts of the universe. That includes you and I.
Very straightforwardly, that is the fallacy of division. Without a substantial metaphysical theory to ground the inference, it is difficult for us to accept this. Since we are prone to think of the universe as significantly more random and morally neutral, what can we say?
Here, I think, we benefit from an observation I shared in a previous post: The Ending of Each Thing. Drawing on a conversation I had with Massimo Pigliucci, I think it is helpful to think of enduring rather than accepting, at least some of the times. Perhaps we can modify Marcus’ line a bit: ‘Accept graciously, let go easily. And if you cannot, at least endure.’
And, of course, Marcus has said a few things about endurance earlier in the Meditations:
The qualities you can offer, then, are those that are entirely up to you: candor, dignity, endurance, indifference to pleasure, acceptance of your lot, frugality, kindness, self-reliance, unaffectedness, discretion, stateliness. (Notebook 5, §5)