The books that made me

Le Guin, of course, but many others.

Before we dive into the real content, let me express my heartfelt gratitude to you all.

Yesterday, I posted a video to my YouTube channel, in which I explained that I was laid off from my day job, which was as an ontologist at Indeed. (It is ironic to be laid off from a company whose motto is ‘We help people get jobs.’) I have kept fairly quiet about my job in the past, as I didn’t want to mix work and YouTube/Substack. But I can say a few words about it here.

I liked my job. The work was interesting. My coworkers were excellent. The benefits were astounding. As an example: hen my son was born, I had 6 months of paid leave. All of this made up for below-market wages, which I accepted gratefully.

But I did not love my job. I always felt I didn’t have enough time to write, to make videos, to work on my book, etc. I did not feel that it was where I wanted to be longterm. I dreamed about quitting.

While the timing was unfortunate – we bought a house less a week ago – I think this is ultimately for the best. I’ll look for other work, but for the time being I’m committing to full-time content creation to see if I could really make something of it. That was the subject of yesterday’s video.

Because of that video, subscriptions to this newsletter have tripled. While this does not make up for my lost salary, this is a tremendous blessing for me and for my family. It is also a profound expression of love and trust from you all, and I don’t want to squander that. So, today is when the journey really begins.

Since I am moving, I have the opportunity to look through all of my books as I sort them. There is a mix of emotions. There is bemusement: why do I own three copies of The Epic of Gilgamesh? There is some shame: did I really buy all of these books and never read them? But there is also a sense of familiarity, a feeling of being at home.

The novelist Michel Houellebecq once wrote an article simply titled ‘The books that made me.’ It is a poignant piece, filled with more heart than I’ve ever discerned in a Houellebecq novel. It is also a theme I’ve found myself returning to as I finish this move.

Let’s talk about a few of those books. These are chosen providentially, based on books that caught my eye as I’ve been sorting through my home library.