i think about child-rearing a lot. I wonder what is the best possible way to raise a child so that they become an optimal person. I probably shouldn't be treating it as a science and more of an art haha.
In my experience as a parent, you are mostly transmitting yourself as Jared says- so the best way would be to try to be optimal yourself.
Children also come “with their own software”, it’s not a blank slate to pour whatever you want into. They are going to transmute whatever you transmit. Even more then, the need to give them good ingredients, and to hold your own plans for what they do with those ingredients as loosely as possible.
This is so cute and yet so insightful! And yes, we are prone to imitate others (that is how people who follow influencers try to do what their influencers do or buy what their influencers buy), so we must be careful about who we imitate.
Parenting and philosophy are intertwined, so it feels very natural that you’d write about it. My love of art, music, and literature is something I hope to pass on to my children as well. I tell my kids: if you can read, you can do anything.
Recently, we got a record player. I’ve let my kids (5 and 7) pick out records at our local thrift stores. It’s fostered a really special connection to the music. Their favorite record recently has been the nutcracker. It’s been so lovely having our home filled with the music and watching my kids imagination take off while it plays.
I have found Kahlil Gibran’s poem “On Children” from “The Prophet” an inspiration in my approach to parenting. Have you read it?
My child is now in the early to mid 20s. I’m reminded of the early days, when I hoped that her passions would evolve to emulate mine - I think parents want kids to learn to be independent, but we also have an innate hope that they will love what we love. What I have found is that they do “have their software” and also take on what they see, hear and experience. They’ll go through a life stage in which they hang on your every word and action, they’ll go through a rebellious phase when they’ll reject your ways, not because they find them abhorrent, but because they’re finding their independence and rejecting their hereunto norms is the low hanging fruit. Then, as my child has, they’ll start to see the beauty in what they mimicked in their early years, because it was beautiful and they’ll select the one or two things that they miss most and they’ll embrace it - and because that choice is theirs, it is an independent act. It’s amazing to see that evolution.
My now three year old is crazy for ‘Dawn’ by Vulf. The way they film is especially appealing to him. We are fairly anti-screen, but I like watching him watch musicians.
He also obsessed about playing the violin for 8 months — he grabbed his ukulele and a mini stick (hockey) and played it like a violin. He insisted he was “just like Tim,” a friend of mine. We’ve now rented a 1/16 size violin on a monthly basis.
My oldest son’s first instrument was also a ukulele. It doesn’t hold its tune which is a problem now that my son has perfect pitch, haha. If you haven’t already, look into Prodigies Music Lessons for a fun way for little ones to learn music theory and general musicianship.
Love this Jared. My 3yo son now has a snare drum, a mini guitar, and has annexed my violin (which he mostly plays like a cello). Calling it music is a stretch, but we have “concerts” every morning during breakfast, and it’s the best part of my day. It’s comforting to know there can still be some nurture amidst the nature
as a bass player I heartily approve of your son's taste in music and favorite song
Dean Town, that's hype to see!
He has good tastes
i think about child-rearing a lot. I wonder what is the best possible way to raise a child so that they become an optimal person. I probably shouldn't be treating it as a science and more of an art haha.
In my experience as a parent, you are mostly transmitting yourself as Jared says- so the best way would be to try to be optimal yourself.
Children also come “with their own software”, it’s not a blank slate to pour whatever you want into. They are going to transmute whatever you transmit. Even more then, the need to give them good ingredients, and to hold your own plans for what they do with those ingredients as loosely as possible.
Yes. They’re definitely preloaded, but you have some influence.
But, for example, if you’re always on your phone, don’t be surprised when your kid becomes an iPad kid!
This is so cute and yet so insightful! And yes, we are prone to imitate others (that is how people who follow influencers try to do what their influencers do or buy what their influencers buy), so we must be careful about who we imitate.
Parenting and philosophy are intertwined, so it feels very natural that you’d write about it. My love of art, music, and literature is something I hope to pass on to my children as well. I tell my kids: if you can read, you can do anything.
Recently, we got a record player. I’ve let my kids (5 and 7) pick out records at our local thrift stores. It’s fostered a really special connection to the music. Their favorite record recently has been the nutcracker. It’s been so lovely having our home filled with the music and watching my kids imagination take off while it plays.
I have found Kahlil Gibran’s poem “On Children” from “The Prophet” an inspiration in my approach to parenting. Have you read it?
Books and music are a classic combo.
My son's not even a whole year old yet, but he does love slapping the shit out of my guitar. Maybe he's getting up on some of this mimetic action.
My child is now in the early to mid 20s. I’m reminded of the early days, when I hoped that her passions would evolve to emulate mine - I think parents want kids to learn to be independent, but we also have an innate hope that they will love what we love. What I have found is that they do “have their software” and also take on what they see, hear and experience. They’ll go through a life stage in which they hang on your every word and action, they’ll go through a rebellious phase when they’ll reject your ways, not because they find them abhorrent, but because they’re finding their independence and rejecting their hereunto norms is the low hanging fruit. Then, as my child has, they’ll start to see the beauty in what they mimicked in their early years, because it was beautiful and they’ll select the one or two things that they miss most and they’ll embrace it - and because that choice is theirs, it is an independent act. It’s amazing to see that evolution.
My now three year old is crazy for ‘Dawn’ by Vulf. The way they film is especially appealing to him. We are fairly anti-screen, but I like watching him watch musicians.
He also obsessed about playing the violin for 8 months — he grabbed his ukulele and a mini stick (hockey) and played it like a violin. He insisted he was “just like Tim,” a friend of mine. We’ve now rented a 1/16 size violin on a monthly basis.
My oldest son’s first instrument was also a ukulele. It doesn’t hold its tune which is a problem now that my son has perfect pitch, haha. If you haven’t already, look into Prodigies Music Lessons for a fun way for little ones to learn music theory and general musicianship.
Love this Jared. My 3yo son now has a snare drum, a mini guitar, and has annexed my violin (which he mostly plays like a cello). Calling it music is a stretch, but we have “concerts” every morning during breakfast, and it’s the best part of my day. It’s comforting to know there can still be some nurture amidst the nature
Engaging in music with others is the best way for child development, since it has been crucial for human evolution!
I think a drum would be a good first instrument since its simple and wouldn't be drowned out by a guitar and you'd be able to play together.
I have no idea what age when kids are able to keep a simple beat though, but they are pretty fun and don't need any theory or chords.
I recently bought a djembe, the music store I went to had small ones: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Djembe
He has some drums and shakers, but he’s taken to the ukulele. I think it’s because he wants to do what we’re doing.