I have come to understand that this perspective is a point of contention for some, but an audio book has been the best way for my husband to re-engage with reading because it is something he can do while walking or driving. At the end of a long, mentally taxing work day, sitting and reading is hard to sustain without getting sleepy. But he will walk an extra 20 minutes, or sit in the car after he parks in order to continue listening to something he’s enjoying. My parents used to use recorded books to motivate us to do our chores and I have good memories of listening to The Wind in the Willows and the Jungle Book while folding clothes, so I started suggesting this format as a way to help him read without falling asleep. It’s been a very positive experience thus far!
This shouldn’t still be as contentious as it is. I also do a lot of audiobooks - I have fatigue disorders, and find I have significantly more “reading” stamina with audio. It also solves that perpetual frustration of the bookish of not being able to read while driving or folding laundry. (N.b., there are certainly things that are better or easier to read, or to read well, in text than in audio.)
This was my gateway drug into starting to read more physical books. Started with audiobooks about fantasy and sci-fi - ended up on physical books about history and philosophy. With it expanding my own reading palette I would say it’s a great introduction/substitute for men to get back into the world of literature.
Your post got me thinking about how technology has caused reading to vanish from the public eye.
When I moved to San Francisco in the 1990s, the third or fourth Harry Potter book was really popular. I'd go to a Farley's Coffeehouse in the morning, and half the people there were reading the same book. We'd look at each other, ask each other what parts we were at, sharing excitement while avoiding spoilers. I once struck up a conversation with someone on the bus who was reading a book that had a huge impact on my life, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. We became friends for years. Reading was conspicuous. It was a cultural event.
Now I read on a Kindle, not because I prefer the experience overall, but because my older eyes fatigue quickly with small, sometimes poorly printed text. But when I see someone with a Kindle, at least we signal that we're reading books. Before my Kindle, I read on my iPhone, which is so common now. Reading on an iPhone is visually indistinguishable from Facebooking, texting, scrolling TikTok, or any number of other online activities.
There’s something hauntingly beautiful about the era you described—when reading wasn’t just an interior act, but a shared atmosphere.
Books once broadcasted intention. A cover glimpsed in a coffeehouse, a spine on the bus—it said something. It opened a portal between strangers.
Now, as you said, it’s all just glass.
Your story left me wondering: what would it take to make reading visible again? Not as performance, but as invitation. Not as nostalgia, but as revival.
Thank you for naming this vanishing. It matters more than we realize.
A well-read grandfather is a common factor in many of the male readers of my generation, it seems. My father also never read much fiction but my grandfather did and his example encouraged me to follow in his footsteps. The greatest and silent generations were arguably the latest to have a thriving popular literary culture among males. Boomer men gravitated more toward film and that trend has continued to the present day. I’m going to have to be very conscientious to read in front of my children (when I have them) and limit my screen time. I believe you’re right that this is the most effective way to revive the literary tradition.
I met a guy who works at a bar who likes reading and will read anything I recommend. Recently, when I was reading Emma while he was reading Northanger Abbey, we were talking about Austen and the other guys looked at us like we were crazy but also looked curious about why in the world we’d want to read about these girls and manners and whatnot. Cherish other readers
I think one thing sort of missing from this narrative is how many of us became avid readers because there was NOTHING ELSE TO DO.
I grew up in Eastern Europe in the ‘80s and damn there was nothing to do. You had 3 tv channels, with shows about agriculture or politics or some crap like that. Obviously no computer no ipad no phone.
But every house had a shelf of books. Kids would teach themselves to read just to have something to do. Now the competition for our attention is fierce, and other ways of intaking information are just easier than reading. The overwhelming amount of choice is harmful even with books themselves - often I go into a book store and leave feeling overwhelmed and weirdly frustrated, not having picked anything out.
It’s not just that we stopped reading. We changed the world.
When I was growing up, my father was a reader. I didn't see him read, though. He worked swing shift and did his reading after he came home from work or late into the night on the weekends after the rest of us went to bed. I am a child of the 70s and 80s. I turned to books since there wasn't much else to do. There weren't many tv stations, nor were there cable. stations available for me. There weren't smart phone or personal computers. It was a time where you had to entertain yourself or be bored. Books were an easy way to be entertained. The really good books became friends. But today, there are many easy ways to be entertained. Reading takes more effort than switching on the television or watching a YouTube video. And with all the choices available, it's not difficult to find something mildly entertaining enough. This makes reading something of a more deliberate choice.
I have to wonder how much damage e-readers have done here, and I say this as a guy who deeply loves my Kindle. E-books make reading way more accessible and affordable, especially if you’re tech savvy and ok with piracy. But from the outside, it doesn’t look like reading. I’m pretty sure the people around me on my flight last week thought I was just doomscrolling for 3 hours.
I’m not a man, but as someone who’s been trying to read more over the last couple years - I just wanted to share that reading novellas and short books has been key! I haven’t seen many people talk about novellas as much (let me know if you have any recommendations) but I love them!
Saw the fantastic vid and thank you for the write up. As a "Infinite Jest" addict I have to disagree of course: READ WALLACE AND WHEN YOU DONE REREAD HIM ALL CAPS PERIOD!
Just kidding but I am a proud 54-year old dad who must report that my 21-year old son's roommate (same age) picked up the IJ paperback I gave the son for his BDay and just messaged me that he started reading it !!!!
oh yes yes Jared of course - I was being a bit tongue in cheek here and you are so spot on about helping folks ease back into reading (or reading for the first time) by NOT throwing stuff at them that will make them even less inclined to see the activity as an enriching one. It is a tough battle, especially in the neoliberal era where folks have internalized the notion that there has to be some tangible VALUE PROPO$ITION TAKEAWAY that is immediate. Thank you for your great work :)
Absolutely! Be baffled, enlightened, entertained… DFW’s essays are where he shines brightest, though, in my estimation.
Also, Pynchon is great (Gravity’s Rainbow unnerves me in ways I find hard to elaborate). And Cormac McCarthy of course.
Also, a flawed masterpiece which still smoulders in my mind and periodically draws me back to revisit it: “The Luminaries” by Eleanor Catton. Plus Hillary Mantel and all of the Flashman novels… oh, God, now I have to go lock myself in my library again. My lady will be cranky…
addendum = Wallace essays are GREAT but I do have to say that after reading Infinite Jest three times I consider it such a great all encompassing work that I can't go back to the essays. It feels he has said it all and better in IJ. HOWEVER: I read "The Pale King" on a flight from Munich to San Francisco a while ago and it was AMAZING! Anyways = "Gravity's Rainbow" is on the list too and thank you for the other mentions!
My pleasure! And thank you for stirring me to haul out IJ again…long overdue.
The Pale King was a delight, I totally agree. I can only imagine what the finished piece would have been had DFW lived to complete it. As it is, it’s a stunning uncut diamond of a book.
Enjoy incarceration in the library, by the way - funny, my missus says similar things to/about me!
I m playing with ideas to do a group reading of Infinite Jest starting February 2026 for the 30th anniversary = I am sure I don't have to point out (on this Substack anyways hihihi) how timely the themes are. I keep you posted! Maybe we get a nice group together, slow reading, inclusive so folks won't get discouraged.
I was quite proud of leading by example, because my eldest daughter has been a voracious reader since learning to read, and has always read ahead of her age group. And then I watched her sister grow up in the same family environment, see both myself and my husband read a lot every day, and end up with no interest in reading whatsoever (she's 11 now so I'm still holding out a tiny bit of hope).
And in my own family it was the other way around: no one really read much or encouraged the kids to read, but for some reason I grew up obsessed with books. I guess in the end no matter how much nurture goes into getting both boys and girls to read, nature matters too.
I’ve noticed this trend amongst my friends that as we’ve grown up, we have read much less. But it is for a relatively new reason.
As we grew, an individual’s ability to instantly access a seemingly unending fountain of knowledge grew as well. Why read when if we’re curious, we can just google something on our phones? Why sit down and patiently read novels, when we’re constantly bombarded with drama and stories in short form videos on social media?
Maybe we do still technically read, but it is entirely on our phones. It’s like twitter, where people endlessly scroll, reading people’s opinions on recent drama.
I have come to understand that this perspective is a point of contention for some, but an audio book has been the best way for my husband to re-engage with reading because it is something he can do while walking or driving. At the end of a long, mentally taxing work day, sitting and reading is hard to sustain without getting sleepy. But he will walk an extra 20 minutes, or sit in the car after he parks in order to continue listening to something he’s enjoying. My parents used to use recorded books to motivate us to do our chores and I have good memories of listening to The Wind in the Willows and the Jungle Book while folding clothes, so I started suggesting this format as a way to help him read without falling asleep. It’s been a very positive experience thus far!
This shouldn’t still be as contentious as it is. I also do a lot of audiobooks - I have fatigue disorders, and find I have significantly more “reading” stamina with audio. It also solves that perpetual frustration of the bookish of not being able to read while driving or folding laundry. (N.b., there are certainly things that are better or easier to read, or to read well, in text than in audio.)
This was my gateway drug into starting to read more physical books. Started with audiobooks about fantasy and sci-fi - ended up on physical books about history and philosophy. With it expanding my own reading palette I would say it’s a great introduction/substitute for men to get back into the world of literature.
Aletheia is a beautiful name for a girl.
Your post got me thinking about how technology has caused reading to vanish from the public eye.
When I moved to San Francisco in the 1990s, the third or fourth Harry Potter book was really popular. I'd go to a Farley's Coffeehouse in the morning, and half the people there were reading the same book. We'd look at each other, ask each other what parts we were at, sharing excitement while avoiding spoilers. I once struck up a conversation with someone on the bus who was reading a book that had a huge impact on my life, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. We became friends for years. Reading was conspicuous. It was a cultural event.
Now I read on a Kindle, not because I prefer the experience overall, but because my older eyes fatigue quickly with small, sometimes poorly printed text. But when I see someone with a Kindle, at least we signal that we're reading books. Before my Kindle, I read on my iPhone, which is so common now. Reading on an iPhone is visually indistinguishable from Facebooking, texting, scrolling TikTok, or any number of other online activities.
There’s something hauntingly beautiful about the era you described—when reading wasn’t just an interior act, but a shared atmosphere.
Books once broadcasted intention. A cover glimpsed in a coffeehouse, a spine on the bus—it said something. It opened a portal between strangers.
Now, as you said, it’s all just glass.
Your story left me wondering: what would it take to make reading visible again? Not as performance, but as invitation. Not as nostalgia, but as revival.
Thank you for naming this vanishing. It matters more than we realize.
A well-read grandfather is a common factor in many of the male readers of my generation, it seems. My father also never read much fiction but my grandfather did and his example encouraged me to follow in his footsteps. The greatest and silent generations were arguably the latest to have a thriving popular literary culture among males. Boomer men gravitated more toward film and that trend has continued to the present day. I’m going to have to be very conscientious to read in front of my children (when I have them) and limit my screen time. I believe you’re right that this is the most effective way to revive the literary tradition.
Read comics to your kids. Tintín for example
I met a guy who works at a bar who likes reading and will read anything I recommend. Recently, when I was reading Emma while he was reading Northanger Abbey, we were talking about Austen and the other guys looked at us like we were crazy but also looked curious about why in the world we’d want to read about these girls and manners and whatnot. Cherish other readers
I think one thing sort of missing from this narrative is how many of us became avid readers because there was NOTHING ELSE TO DO.
I grew up in Eastern Europe in the ‘80s and damn there was nothing to do. You had 3 tv channels, with shows about agriculture or politics or some crap like that. Obviously no computer no ipad no phone.
But every house had a shelf of books. Kids would teach themselves to read just to have something to do. Now the competition for our attention is fierce, and other ways of intaking information are just easier than reading. The overwhelming amount of choice is harmful even with books themselves - often I go into a book store and leave feeling overwhelmed and weirdly frustrated, not having picked anything out.
It’s not just that we stopped reading. We changed the world.
Man Carying Thing is a fun, accessible, and surprisingly deep youtube channel. Keep him around, I say.
He's a friend! He's a very good guy.
You guys look like you could be brothers.
Because of your video with him, I was introduced to his channel and watched a bunch of videos about books and writing. Thank you for that.
When I was growing up, my father was a reader. I didn't see him read, though. He worked swing shift and did his reading after he came home from work or late into the night on the weekends after the rest of us went to bed. I am a child of the 70s and 80s. I turned to books since there wasn't much else to do. There weren't many tv stations, nor were there cable. stations available for me. There weren't smart phone or personal computers. It was a time where you had to entertain yourself or be bored. Books were an easy way to be entertained. The really good books became friends. But today, there are many easy ways to be entertained. Reading takes more effort than switching on the television or watching a YouTube video. And with all the choices available, it's not difficult to find something mildly entertaining enough. This makes reading something of a more deliberate choice.
the fact that you can biohack other people into enjoying books by enjoying books openly is pretty trippy
Where I am from we call that good-ole-fashioned persuasion!
its effectiveness is joyfully surprising
I have to wonder how much damage e-readers have done here, and I say this as a guy who deeply loves my Kindle. E-books make reading way more accessible and affordable, especially if you’re tech savvy and ok with piracy. But from the outside, it doesn’t look like reading. I’m pretty sure the people around me on my flight last week thought I was just doomscrolling for 3 hours.
I’m not a man, but as someone who’s been trying to read more over the last couple years - I just wanted to share that reading novellas and short books has been key! I haven’t seen many people talk about novellas as much (let me know if you have any recommendations) but I love them!
Yes! Easy wins build momentum. This is my approach when stuck in a reading slump.
Saw the fantastic vid and thank you for the write up. As a "Infinite Jest" addict I have to disagree of course: READ WALLACE AND WHEN YOU DONE REREAD HIM ALL CAPS PERIOD!
Just kidding but I am a proud 54-year old dad who must report that my 21-year old son's roommate (same age) picked up the IJ paperback I gave the son for his BDay and just messaged me that he started reading it !!!!
I wish in the video I’d explicitly said that I do think reading Wallace is a good thing to do!
oh yes yes Jared of course - I was being a bit tongue in cheek here and you are so spot on about helping folks ease back into reading (or reading for the first time) by NOT throwing stuff at them that will make them even less inclined to see the activity as an enriching one. It is a tough battle, especially in the neoliberal era where folks have internalized the notion that there has to be some tangible VALUE PROPO$ITION TAKEAWAY that is immediate. Thank you for your great work :)
Absolutely! Be baffled, enlightened, entertained… DFW’s essays are where he shines brightest, though, in my estimation.
Also, Pynchon is great (Gravity’s Rainbow unnerves me in ways I find hard to elaborate). And Cormac McCarthy of course.
Also, a flawed masterpiece which still smoulders in my mind and periodically draws me back to revisit it: “The Luminaries” by Eleanor Catton. Plus Hillary Mantel and all of the Flashman novels… oh, God, now I have to go lock myself in my library again. My lady will be cranky…
I'm locked inside my library as I type this. The wife thinks it is a GOOD idea so we both agree on something AT LAST ;)
That would be great - a good opportunity (and impetus) to reopen my copy. Taking time with DFW always pays dividends too… please do keep me in mind!
absolutely! before Xmas I will have a PLAN :)
addendum = Wallace essays are GREAT but I do have to say that after reading Infinite Jest three times I consider it such a great all encompassing work that I can't go back to the essays. It feels he has said it all and better in IJ. HOWEVER: I read "The Pale King" on a flight from Munich to San Francisco a while ago and it was AMAZING! Anyways = "Gravity's Rainbow" is on the list too and thank you for the other mentions!
My pleasure! And thank you for stirring me to haul out IJ again…long overdue.
The Pale King was a delight, I totally agree. I can only imagine what the finished piece would have been had DFW lived to complete it. As it is, it’s a stunning uncut diamond of a book.
Enjoy incarceration in the library, by the way - funny, my missus says similar things to/about me!
I m playing with ideas to do a group reading of Infinite Jest starting February 2026 for the 30th anniversary = I am sure I don't have to point out (on this Substack anyways hihihi) how timely the themes are. I keep you posted! Maybe we get a nice group together, slow reading, inclusive so folks won't get discouraged.
I was quite proud of leading by example, because my eldest daughter has been a voracious reader since learning to read, and has always read ahead of her age group. And then I watched her sister grow up in the same family environment, see both myself and my husband read a lot every day, and end up with no interest in reading whatsoever (she's 11 now so I'm still holding out a tiny bit of hope).
And in my own family it was the other way around: no one really read much or encouraged the kids to read, but for some reason I grew up obsessed with books. I guess in the end no matter how much nurture goes into getting both boys and girls to read, nature matters too.
Don't know if you saw this. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/03/arts/straight-white-male-novelists.html
It seems most of the new novels I find in my library are authored by young women.
So? You are allowed to read women
I’ve noticed this trend amongst my friends that as we’ve grown up, we have read much less. But it is for a relatively new reason.
As we grew, an individual’s ability to instantly access a seemingly unending fountain of knowledge grew as well. Why read when if we’re curious, we can just google something on our phones? Why sit down and patiently read novels, when we’re constantly bombarded with drama and stories in short form videos on social media?
Maybe we do still technically read, but it is entirely on our phones. It’s like twitter, where people endlessly scroll, reading people’s opinions on recent drama.